


i never realized you cared so much (it's making me all warm)

by orphan_account



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: M/M, Sick Fic, pure fluff, ryan just wants to take care of shane, shane is one stubborn boi, theres like one swear word in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:06:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24813538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Shane shows up to work sick, and Ryan helps him.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 14
Kudos: 176





	i never realized you cared so much (it's making me all warm)

**Author's Note:**

> As a celebration of getting my final exam results for this semester, I'm posting this fic thingy I've been working on!
> 
> I'm too tired to write anything more because it's night, but here ya go!

Shane was stubborn. It showed in Unsolved, refusing to believe ghosts were real even when Ryan presented him with definitive proof. It showed in the Hot Daga, Ryan’s own, Shane-created, hell. It showed in the relentless way that he worked on everything he was tasked with, even if it was something stupid that he didn’t think was worth it, like those stupid compilation videos Buzzfeed sometimes made them create.

So really, it shouldn’t be a big surprise to Ryan that when Shane got sick, he got through it on pure stubbornness.

Shane didn’t mention he was sick, but Ryan noticed. He always noticed everything about Shane. He noticed it today because his hair was flat and shineless, which wasn’t usual. He also noticed it because Shane made sure to keep a five-foot distance from Ryan and everyone else at all times, which also wasn’t normal, and because he was pale and there was a slightly green sheen to his skin and every time he stood up he would pause for a minute with his hands clutching the nearest surface, staring off into space.

Ryan thought maybe that Shane had misjudged how bad he felt; that he woke up that morning feeling okay and then gradually as the morning went on felt worse and worse. He expected Shane to be gone by lunch because it was so obvious that he was unwell. Especially after he had stiffened completely, then darted off to the toilets with his hand going over his mouth.

But then Shane kept going, and by 1 PM, Ryan was worried that he was going to faint while sitting at his desk.

«Shane, you okay there big guy?» Ryan tried asking.

Shane just hummed and nodded - too slow for it to be normal - and muttered something about a headache.

Ryan didn’t push him then, because he didn’t think Shane actually would lie about being sick, just downplay it a little.

Then another hour rolled around and Shane had done significantly less work than he usually did, and he had also run to the bathroom once more, coming back with his hair very disheveled.

He tried again. «Really, Shane, no offense but you look terrible.»

Shane flipped him off, keeping his eyes on the screen. The screen that had been dark for the last fifteen minutes.

At that moment Steven came in - he had been shooting an episode of Homemade the whole day - and called Shane over. Ryan watched as Shane pushed himself away from the desk, gripped it as if his life depended on it, and then slowly stood up, doing that thing where he stared off in space again, except this time his eyes rolled into his skull and his body immediately went limp.

Ryan was barely able to shoot up from his chair and grab Shane, keeping him upright as he came to again. Steven - who had been across the room just a few seconds ago - helped Ryan seat him back into his chair, as Shane tried to focus his eyes.

«Okay, that’s it big guy. You’re sick, I’ll drive you home.»

Shane shook his head again, but it was clear he was dazed, and now that Ryan had touched his skin he was also aware that he was running a pretty high fever. The kind where he was debating whether to send him to the hospital instead of his bed.

«No, I’m fine,» he slurred, but when Ryan looked up at Steven, he knew that there was no way Shane was staying at the office.

«Dude, you literally just fainted from standing up. You’re going home, whether you want to or not.»

Steven helped to save the files on Shane’s computer and packing Ryan and Shane’s bags while Ryan got Shane in his coat, and then they walked out of the office, Ryan’s hand supporting Shane around his waist with Shane leaning over Ryan like he wasn’t able to stand up himself - he probably wasn’t.

Usually carrying Shane like this would be hard because he was tall and heavy and all the other times Ryan had to help Shane like this, the big guy had been drunk and usually resisting the help. Now, however, he wasn’t drunk, which meant he was a lot easier to maneuver, and a lot less stubborn.

Seeing how bad Shane really was, and thinking about the fact that Watcher - their company, the thing they were betting their livelihood on - would launch in two weeks, panicked him a little, but he managed to shove the worry to a little corner in the back of his head so that he could focus on his friend instead.

They got to Ryan’s car and got Shane into the passenger seat. As soon as head hit the headrest, he was out like a light, so Ryan helped him with his seatbelt while Steven put Shane and Ryan’s bags in the backseat.

«Make sure he’s okay, I’ll handle everything here,» Steven said, and Ryan nodded, feeling relief that he wasn’t the only CEO of this company.

«I’ll get some medicine in him, and then I’ll text you if I take him to the doctor. Either way, I don’t think we can expect to see him in the office this week.»

With that, Ryan got seated in the driver’s seat, looking over at Shane sleeping peacefully, his lower lip sticking out a little bit, and his muscles relaxed, making him almost look like a little kid.

The drive was silent, giving Ryan time to wonder why Shane was so stubborn about this. He wondered if Shane had ever shown up to a shoot without having slept, or hungover, or sick, without Ryan having noticed his silent relentlessness. He wondered if Shane did this often.

It kind of warmed his chest, spreading throughout his body all the way to his fingertips and toes, the thought of Shane being so insistent on making Ryan happy, on being there for him, that he’d risked his own well-being.

«Okay, big guy, time to wake up,» Ryan whispered, nudging his co-worker when he had parked the car outside Shane’s apartment.

Shane stirred but didn’t open his eyes, and Ryan sighed. He really didn’t want to wake Shane, but he couldn’t exactly stay in Ryan’s car the whole day, and he really should get some antipyretics in him.

He gave him the few seconds extra that it took for Ryan to walk over to Shane’s side, then he tried to wake up his friend again.

«Buddy, hey, I know you’re tired, but you’ll sleep a lot better in your own bed. Don’t you want to sleep in your own bed?»

Shane muttered something, but it was slurred and very low, barely a whisper and more like a brush of air between his lips, so Ryan didn’t hear it. He shook his head and chuckled a little bit, trying to think of what his mother would do when he was young and tired and didn’t wanna go anywhere.

«Shane, wakey wakey,» he whispered close to his ear, letting a hand stroke Shane’s stubbled jaw and then make its way up to his hair, his usually silky hair now matted down from sweat. A small part of his brain noted that if he wasn’t sure Shane wouldn’t remember this come morning, Ryan probably wouldn’t have let himself touch Shane like that.

Shane let out a little sigh that for some reason made Ryan’s stomach flip, and leaned into the touch. Ryan was certain by then that he would never get Shane out of his car, but then Shane opened his eyes fully and pouted a little bit, starting to move his body out of the car.

«Good job, buddy,» Ryan encouraged, sliding his arm around Shane’s frame to support him, somehow managing to close the car door shut and then lock it at the same time. He didn’t even bother getting their bags, deciding that Shane wouldn’t be able to use his laptop immediately anyways.

Then they staggered up to the elevator, Shane nuzzling his head into Ryan’s hair and Ryan trying not to let that bother him.

‘ _You know that doesn’t bother you_ ’ something in the back of his mind said.

‘ _Shut up_ ’ Ryan told the voice.

As he fished around for the right key to Shane’s apartment, he was sucked into a daydream where the key to Shane’s apartment was on Ryan’s keychain and where walking into Shane’s apartment felt as natural as walking into his own.

It almost made him dizzy, as he walked in and kicked off his shoes and helped Shane with his, imagining his rack of sneakers right there. He wondered if maybe he had gotten whatever Shane had gotten. If he would be trapped in there with Shane, half delirious from a fever. It wouldn’t be the worst thing.

Ryan had never been in Shane’s bedroom before. Not because he stayed clear from it or anything, just because he’d never really had a reason to be in Shane’s bedroom before. But now he had, and he felt some way about it.

Shane fell into the large king-sized bed - he probably had it because it was the only bed he would fit into - not bothering to take off any clothes, and Ryan helped tuck him in, asking if he wanted help to take his shirt and jeans off. Shane hummed, which was neither a yes or a no, but he didn’t do anything that screamed ‘help me get this off’, so Ryan took that as a no.

«Okay, I’m just going to get some Ibuprofen for your fever, and some water. Try not to fall asleep.»

Shane responded with a snore, but Ryan didn’t have big hopes for him to stay awake anyways.

It took some time finding the Ibuprofen because instead of having medical things in the medicine cabinet in his bathroom like a normal person, he kept his razors, shaving cream, and extra toothbrushes there. The antipyretics, however, were stored in the top drawer of his office, which made Ryan once again wonder how many times Shane actually got sick without telling anyone.

When he came back, there was a pile of Shane’s clothes right on the side of the bed, and Shane was laying snoring in the middle of the bed, the sheets covering him from toes all the way up to his ear. Between his breaths, Ryan could see bouts of shivers run down his body, no doubt from the fever.

It almost broke his heart, seeing Shane so vulnerable and weak. Shane was used to seeing Ryan like that because he accompanied him to all the haunted houses and demon-infested places - Ryan couldn’t even count how many times Shane had stayed with him through a panic attack, getting him through it and then making sure he got back on his feet after. But Shane never got like that. He had barely ever seen him scared, and he had this amazing talent where he was able to keep going when he was tired, not letting anyone in on the secret.

«Okay, buddy, wake up now. You just need to take this and then I promise you can sleep again,» Ryan whispered, sitting down on the edge of the bed beside Shane and pulling the covers away from his face.

Shane groaned, but opened his eyes halfway and stared up at Ryan. He thought maybe it was supposed to be one of those patented ‘ _I’m tired of your bullshit_ ’ Shane Stares, but through the haze of the fever and the half-opened lids, it just looked like someone had woken him up from a very deep slumber.

«Yeah, I know, it sucks,» Ryan muttered as he helped Shane sit up, then giving him the pill and helping him sip the water.

Sure, Ryan probably didn’t need to… coddle him quite as much, but Shane wasn’t protesting, and Ryan wanted to be absolutely certain that Shane did what he was supposed to. He was, after all, a very stubborn guy.

When the water and pill were swallowed, Ryan felt a little better. Shane slowly sank down into the pillows, and his eyes fluttered shut, so Ryan thought it was time to leave. He would come later that day, just to make sure Shane hadn’t died, but he felt weird about just staying when Shane didn’t need him.

He got to the door when he heard Shane shift and then whisper something.

«What?» Ryan asked, walking closer again.

«Please, stay,» he managed to croak out, one limp hand sliding out from the covers in Ryan’s direction.

«Okay, I’ll just go get our bags so I can get some work done, okay?»

Apparently, Ryan had misunderstood, because Shane shook his head and shifted closer to the center of the bed.

«Stay here,» he sighed, wriggling his fingers a little bit.

Ryan didn’t even really realize he did it, but suddenly he was sliding into bed with Shane. His heart was beating a mile a minute, which was a little weird for doing something he regularly did for his job, but okay. Then Shane’s hands wrapped around his waist and he was pulled flush to Shane’s chest, Shane’s head nuzzled into Ryan’s hair.

«Thanks,» he whispered, then pressed a kiss into the top of Ryan’s hair, and Ryan short-circuited for a little while.

When he finally calmed down again, his heart a normal beat and his palms dry, he realized Shane had fallen asleep, and Ryan was getting sleepy too. With Shane’s long and overheated body curled up against his back, and the rhythmic fall and rise of his breathing, it really was easy for Ryan’s eyes to flutter close and his breathing to even out.

-

He wasn’t sure how much the clock was when he woke up again, all he was aware of was that he was alone in the bed. Immediately he sat up and turned around, looking at Shane’s side that was empty and cold.

Ryan’s first theory was that Shane had gone to the bathroom, but that was quickly disproven when he noticed there were lights or sounds coming from there.

Ryan walked out to the living room where he found Shane sat on the couch, a blanket wrapped around him like a burrito, his laptop in his lap. Like a sting right to his heart, he realized that Shane was working, and a wave of deep anger born out of caring for someone who didn’t care nearly as much for themselves manifested in his body.

He didn’t say anything, just marched over and closed the laptop, barely missing Shane’s fingers. Shane’s eyes snapped up to him, shock and annoyance clearly displayed on his face.

«You are sick. You can’t work, Shane!» Ryan tried to tell him, but Shane just shook his head.

It was clear he still was unwell, both because he was paler than Ryan had ever seen him, except for some very rosy cheeks, and because his eyes were glossed over from sickness.

«M’fine,» he muttered, opening his laptop again.

This time, Ryan grabbed his laptop, ignoring Shane’s shouts of protests. When he had put it away on a chair away from him, he put his hand to Shane’s forehead to feel his temperature, noticing that the skin was damp but definitely not as hot anymore. Okay, so no need for the hospital yet.

«Shane, please for the love of everything that is holy, just go to bed and get better. Why are you so insistent on working anyway?»

There were a lot of responses that Ryan would expect from Shane, ranging from comments about how nothing is holy to Ryan having closed the laptop without letting Shane save the files.

Shane, however, avoided looking at Ryan. Ryan knew this because Shane’s eyes went over Ryan’s head, over Ryan’s shoulder, down to his lap, over to a spot on the wall slightly to the left of Ryan, up at the ceiling and then down at his feet. He also knew it because Shane had that look he got when he was holding something back; his eyes turned down and a little wide, his cheeks flushed, his lips parted.

«I just don’t feel that bad, I can still work.»

Ryan wanted to yell at him, to tell him to go the fuck to bed, that this wasn’t helping anyone, but that would arguably be a bad idea. That wasn’t a way to get anyone to listen to you, so Ryan sat down beside him instead, a little closer than what he normally would, their thighs pressed closely together.

«Shane,» Ryan said softly, trying to get his attention. «Look at me.»

When he finally looked back at Ryan, he put his hand on Shane’s cheek, a reminder to not look away.

«Shane, you literally fainted when you stood up earlier. You know you’re not well enough to work, you know that. So what is the real reason?»

Shane tried to look away again, but Ryan’s hand on his cheek kept his head in place. He could practically feel Shane give up, and it was faster than he was used to, but he was probably also exhausted and delirious from being sick.

«It’s only two weeks until we launch Watcher, and there’s still so much to do,» he sighed.

And Ryan understood him, it wasn’t that. It wasn’t like the same exact thing had gone through his mind when he saw Shane arrive that morning, and he could practically hear Steven think the same thing as Ryan carried Shane into his car. But Ryan also knew that there was rarely a time where you would win against your body.

Ryan was a known workaholic. He would be engrossed in his projects, sitting up from the sun went away until the sun rose up again, not even realizing how much time had passed. He sacrificed sleep, food, and his own well-being for his career, and he had gotten burned by it way too many times. But he had friends who were there for him, _Shane_ who was there for him, who helped remind him to drink some water and get some sleep and put away the screen for a little bit. And at once Ryan, as he sat there, suddenly realized that Shane maybe never had that.

So Ryan vowed, then and there, in the quiet of his own mind, that he would be that for Shane. When Shane didn’t hear his own body, Ryan would tune him in. When he got lost in that work-fog, Ryan would be the beacon helping him out. When Shane got so lost he couldn’t find his way, Ryan would take his hand and lead him out.

«Shane. I understand. But you’re helping nobody if you end up in the hospital because you didn’t rest properly.»

His eyes glittered a little. Ryan thought it was weird until he realized it was tears, and suddenly he panicked a little bit, pulling the taller man into his chest and letting his hands fall around his hips.

They stayed there for a while, both men quiet, with only the occasional sniffle from Shane as he nuzzled his head into Ryan’s hair. It was a hug that wasn’t completely friendly. The thought that Ryan cared more for Shane than he was willing to admit hung high-strung in the air.

When Ryan’s back started to ache from the weird angle he was in, and he felt Shane start to shift in his seat, he let go, although reluctantly.

«You ready to go to bed?» Ryan asked, letting his hand fall to cup over Shane’s laying in his lap.

«I don’t want to disappoint you,» Shane whispered.

«No, no, no, no, no! You’re not disappointing anyone, tall guy!» Ryan tried to reassure Shane, but it didn’t seem like Shane was satisfied with that answer, because he suddenly turned his hand and entwined his fingers with Ryan, before he tugged Ryan a little closer, looking at him with a clarity he hadn’t managed that whole day.

«No, I don’t want to disappoint _you_ ,» he whispered.

 _Oh_.

Shane’s eyes flickered down to his lips for just the tiniest of a second, and Ryan took that as a sign to go even closer to Shane, leaning his forehead on Shane’s and letting their breaths mingle.

«You’re not disappointing me.»

«You always work so hard and with so much passion. I just want to show you that I can too, that I can keep up with you, match your tempo.»

«Oh, Shane,» Ryan breathed, not even sure how to respond to that. «I never doubted that even for a second. But even I take a break when I know I can’t go on anymore, that isn’t an admittance of weakness or whatever toxic masculinity has told you.»

Shane’s forehead was still damp and warm, and Ryan thought that maybe it wasn’t best to be so close to Shane when he was sick. Steven would probably kill them both if Ryan got sick too. Ryan didn’t care.

«I know… I usually know that. I don’t know what’s happening to me. I really want to kiss you, is that weird?»

Ryan’s stomach did a somersault, and he really couldn’t help the laugh bubbling out of his mouth, surprised by how much he wanted it himself.

«How about we schedule that kiss for when you’re not sick and feverish? For now, let’s just get you to bed. I’ll stay with you.»

Ryan couldn’t see Shane’s eyes, due to his own being closed and also them being so close to each other, but he thought he still could feel the hopeful little glint in his eyes.

«Okay, fine. But you better get ready, because as soon as I’m not sick again I will kiss the life out of those pretty lips of yours!»

Ryan laughed and pulled away, and finally noticed the flush to Shane’s cheeks that now was obvious came from something else than just his fever.

«Oh god, did I really just say that?» he heard Shane mutter as he helped him up, and Ryan laughed again, drunk on the feeling of touching Shane and caring for Shane and comforting Shane.

‘ _And Shane and Shane and Shane_ ’ his mind supplied for him.

Ryan didn’t let go of Shane’s hand as he lead him into the bedroom. Only once, when they get into the bed and find out the logistics of how it was going to work, but then Shane turned Ryan around so that his back was pressed against Shane’s chest, his head once again nuzzled in Ryan’s hair.

«Hey, did you go down to my car to get your laptop?» Ryan asked after a while of silence.

Shane answered «Yeah,» then whispered: «I didn’t know you cared so much for me.»

Ryan smiled, pressed himself harder into Shane’s chest, and whispered back. «Neither did I.»

-

A few minutes later, when Shane had fallen asleep, Ryan found his phone and shot Steven a quick message.

‘Shane’s fine. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.’


End file.
